Why Subscribe?
Nobody likes fetters. Fetters are the worst. Subscribe to the Daily Ostrich, and you’ll get UNFETTERED access to the latest articles, not to mention all the back issues.
Do you have to subscribe? No, indeed. But if you don’t, it’s fetters, fetters, fetters, all the way down. Don’t live like that.
About The Daily Ostrich
I always wanted to be a newspaper tycoon. Don’t you think a person should get to be a tycoon, if it’s really in his heart to be one? Well, the first rule of newspaper tycoons is you have to have a newspaper, so I saved up my nickels and bought the Daily Ostrich. As you know, the Daily O was a big-deal paper in its heyday. I can’t take credit for all the Pulitzers they (probably) won in their long and storied history, but I’m proud to sit in the publisher’s chair, and I don’t think I’ve let down the standard.
The second rule of tycoons is your paper has to publish something, sometimes. We try to print an edition once a week. That’s not quite the pace implied by the “Daily” in Daily Ostrich, but a tycoon shouldn’t bite off more than he can chew. (That’s the third rule of tycoons, learned the hard way at many a black-tie luncheon.)
I do most of the writing myself, but I’m thrilled to have a staff of talented columnists who truly punch above their weight, especially when you consider that they’re fictional, which is a burden.
The eighth rule of tycoons is you have to have readers, and so I’m deeply thankful for you, right now. You make me what I am. I’ll do my best to return the favor.
Gratefully,
Tom George
Daily Ostrich Owner, Publisher, and Editor-in-Chief
Why Is It Called The Daily Ostrich?
The Daily Ostrich got its start in 1848 as the Upstate Carrier Pigeon, quickly becoming the dominant newspaper in the region. It was seemingly unstoppable until the 1890s, when Corny Vanderbilt funded the upstart Upstate Eagle. In its opinion page, the Eagle poked fun the rival Pigeon, and ran a comic series with a hero named Rex the Eagle, who tormented Wimps, the puny pushover pigeon. When this treatment began to take its toll on the Carrier Pigeon, far-seeing publisher Jimothee Cankles renamed his paper The Daily Ostrich, after a bird that could never be bested.
